


Hard out Here

by Cornflower



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Criminals, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, FBI agents, Fem! Viktor, Fem! Yuuri, Genderbending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-26 17:58:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9914324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cornflower/pseuds/Cornflower
Summary: “Who are you working for? Russia, the Mafia?” Yuuri blurted, pulling out her gun and pointing it in the criminal's direction in one smooth motion.“Oh Yuuri,” Viktoriya giggled, eyes dark and pupils blown wide, “if I told you that I’d have to kill you.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> If you likes crime and lesbians, this fic is for you. I titled it after a song by Lily Allen that I thought was appropriate. It doesn't have a direct connection to the story, but it's a rad song so maybe give it a listen? And I can't write summaries, but I'll change it when I think of something better.

 

Viktoriya scanned the room, a tall glass of champagne between her rouged lips and Yuri Plisetsky seemingly joined to her hip. Her missions used to be a lot more promiscuous before Yakov had more or less forced Plisetsky on her by assigning him as her partner in crime.

The kid was a child prodigy, hacking into Russia's computer systems before entering high school. Yuri's background in the Russian language had clearly given him an advantage, but Viktoriya had to admit the boy was somewhat a genius. Almost as smart as she was. Plisetsky was the only member of their organization that was even close to matching up to her skills, but he was still a child.

She couldn't help but notice her heels made her appear several inches taller than him. She probably looked like the brat's mother. She scrunched her nose at the thought.

Yakov had warned them that the FBI had an alibi on their whereabouts that evening, so she was on the lookout for undercover agents. Their target was currently lounging on one of the velvet couches in the corner of the ballroom. The old geezer was red in the face from the alcohol, and he was groping the black haired beauty sitting on his lap.

"Why do rich people always have to throw parties on boats. I'm gonna be fucking sick." Yuri spat, wrestling his tie loose as if it was trying to strangle him. 

"Oh Yura, are you grouchy because it's past your bedtime?" Viktoriya cooed. She took out her phone – 8:46pm. They had plenty of time.

Yuri was shouting something about being fifteen and deserving more respect, but she was much more occupied with the pretty girl on the couch. A tall man that looked much too confident had walked over to her, and seemed determined to buy her a drink. Viktoriya couldn't hear what the women was saying, but she was clearly disinterested, making no move to get off the older man's lap. 

Viktoriya had done her research beforehand, and the younger man was the son of the couple hosting this extravagant party. Going by the size of the yacht they owned, as well as the crystal chandelier above them that likely weighed as much as a small car, the family was swimming with money. If the women were a gold digger, there was no reason for her to refuse him. Being younger and more handsome, he was obviously the better choice.

"It's her." Viktoriya said, turning Yuri's head so he was facing the right direction.

"She's the undercover agent? Are you sure?" The boy didn't seem convinced. He leaned in to get a better look. 

"She's been glued to that geezer all night. I had my suspicions, but when she refused that dashing young man's advances they were confirmed." She explained, pointing to the tall man who had already moved on to another women across the room. 

"So you're saying that girl is baldy's body guard?" Yuri posed. He was fiddling with his phone, probably intending make them appear less suspicious. That or he was texting Otabek. Viktoriya shrugged,

"That or she's a lesbian. Or maybe she's both," she exclaimed, eyes bright and hopeful.

"That's your explanation for everything." Yuri scoffed, pocketing his phone. “So you got a plan or what?” He snatched an orderv from one of the server’s plates. She didn’t comment about the server having to lower the tray so the boy would be able to reach.

She snuck another glance at the possible agent’s cleavage peeking out from her little black dress. The tight fabric hugged the women in places that made Viktoriya’s skin flush. It’s funny how arousal made the blood leave her brain in lieu for well, other places.

“Can you watch me walk past her and see if she checks out my ass?” She asked, emptying her glass of champagne before shoving it into Yuri’s grasp. He reluctantly held on to in so it wouldn’t fall to the floor.

“This is why I hate being partnered up with you! All you think about is sex!” Yuri yelled. Viktoriya laughed, ruffling his hair before making her way across the room. That is until she was rudely interrupted with a phone call.

“Oh I don’t think so sweetheart.” The caller chided before she had a chance to say hello. Viktoriya would have recognized that voice anywhere. “The women you have your eyes on is an agent all right. One that even you’d have trouble handling, but you didn’t hear this from me.”

“Chris darling. You’re here too?” She chirped, eyes darting around the room in search for the source of the voice on the other end. She spotted him sitting at the drink bar, but he didn’t wave. Duty calls and all that jazz. 

“I’m that women’s backup tonight. I was ordered to keep people like you out of the way.” He replied.

“And you’re doing such a good job,” she mocked, reaching for a second glass of champagne.

“I have my reasons.” Was all the man had to say of the matter. “A word of advice, don’t take the direct approach. That women’s sharper than she lets on.”

“But is she a lesbian?” She could hear Yuri raging behind her.

“I’ll leave that up to you to figure out. Oh, and she’s got a soft spot for kids, so maybe make Yuri dance or something.”

She snorted into her glass, “Will do.” Taking a thoughtful sip of her drink, she devised the perfect plan.

“Yuri, go fetch a glass of champagne.” She pointed him in the direction of the nearest tray. 

“You’re letting me drink?” Yuri asked, eyes doubtful. She noticed he had discarded his tie and left it on the floor to be trampled.

“God no. You’re going to deliver it to that gorgeous girl over there.” She gushed. Her partner visibly paled.

 

-

 

Yuuri woke up that morning drunk and confused. She would never voluntarily go to a banquet on a Tuesday night, but work called for it. She tried to search her memory as to how she had gotten so drunk, but the thinking was just making her head throb. She hated to admit it, but she was a major lightweight, which is why she made it a rule to never drink on the job. Of course last night she decided to neglect this, which as expected was a terrible decision.

The shrill sound of her cell phone ringing made her outwardly groan. She answered on the fourth ring, with the other side of her face still squished into her downy pillow.

“Mmh, Phichit?” She mumbled groggily.

“Where are you Yuuri? Work started an hour ago!” Phichit exclaimed. Yuuri shot up from bed, losing her balance and falling off the edge with a  _thump_.

“Please tell me you’re okay,” said her best friend sounding worried.  

“Just peachy. I’ll be there in 20 minutes.” Yuuri replied breathlessly before hanging up. She had to skip out on showering, but she was out the door and in her red Toyota Corolla in a flash, making it to work with 5 minutes to spare. She was not surprised when she rushed through the front entrance and her boss was there waiting for her. Phichit stood behind him, managing an apologetic wave in her direction. 

“Yuuri Katsuki. My sources tell me that you had gotten quite intoxicated last night.” Celestino said with a frown.

“I’m sorry boss. I swear it won’t happen again.” She lowered her head, but remembered that she wasn’t in Japan anymore. People didn’t bow in the States. She hoped that her apology would suffice. 

“The good news is the that the man you were assigned to protect is safe – for now.” Celestino huffed, “would you mind explaining your behavior last night? It was very unlike you Katsuki.”

“Uh, well I don’t exactly remember.” Yuuri admitted meekly.

“Then try to remember.” Her boss pressed. Phichit put a comforting hand on her shoulder as she thought hard about it.

 

She was sitting on that disgusting man’s lap, swearing to herself that she would make it clear to her boss that she never wanted to be assigned something so demeaning again. She had noticed the blond boy walking towards her right away, not only because he was the only underage guest at the party, but he was also holding a glass of champagne to his chest. On further inspection, the boy looked quite flustered, but when he noticed her eyes on him he touched the glass to his lips.

“Excuse me. You are much to young to drink.” Yuuri said, moving away from the man she was guarding for the first time that night. The boy seemed to be in a daze, but was quick to snap out of it.

“Make me.” He said, dangling the glass in front of her as a challenge. Yuuri juggled her options, but decided to throw rationality out the window. This was a rebellious teenage boy she was dealing with. Yuuri snatched the glass from the boy’s grasp, tipping it all the way back and downing the sweet liquid in one go.

Like taking candy from a baby.

 Yuuri groaned at the memory. Why had she thought that was a good idea? 

“ _Well_?” Her boss raised an eyebrow. Yuuri tried to keep her explanation short and professional, but it sounded even more ridiculous out loud.

“Are you trying to tell me you got smashed after one drink Katsuki?” Her boss boomed.

“N-no sir. Everything’s just blurry after that.” It was worse than blurry. Her memories of last night were completely blank. She wouldn’t remember the events of what happened if they were recited to her.

“Hmph. I’ll let you off this time, but be more careful from now on.” Celestino sighed. It looked like he wanted to banter her more, but someone was calling him to the front desk. Phichit tucked her under his shoulder, steering her in the direction of their cubicles.

“Aw, don’t listen to him Yuuri. Celestino’s such a deadweight. He gets drunk all the time in his private office.” Her best friend consoled, taking a seat in his cubicle. Yuuri stared at the ground, head still pounding. “He’s just intimidated that there’s a girl in the office more competent than he is.” He continued, smoothing a thumb over her cheek. 

“Thanks Phichit.” She smiled gratefully.

Chris stuck his head over the low wall separating his cubicle from Phichit’s.

“The walk of shame Yuuri? I’ve had my fair share of those.” He sympathized. His phone chimed in his hand, and Chris raised his brow at the text before moving to set it face down on his desk.

“Chris, do you remember what happened last night?” Yuuri asked, patting down her unkept hair.

“Oh I don’t think you want to know.” He chuckled lowly. She put her head in her hands and moaned.

“You didn’t take advantage of her did you?” Phichit accused, pulling Yuuri closer as if he was protecting her from the blond.

“There are plenty of fish in the sea.” The man waved.

Yuuri and Chris had their history. She had heard that he was gay when she first transferred to the agency, and had let her guard down. He asked her out when they were on a mission together. When she had admitted that she had heard that he was gay, he told her that he was bisexual.

“People always like to forget about us.” He had shrugged. Yuuri apologized profusely about the misunderstanding, but in the end she still rejected him. Chris may not be gay, but she sure was. They remained good friends, but Phichit still wasn’t convinced. 

 

“Well shit-faced or not, in the end you were still able to accomplish your mission. Wouldn’t expect any less leader.” Chris praised. 

“If only I could remember how I did it.” Yuuri said softly, blushing at the compliment.

At that Phichit smiled. Regardless of his suspicions, she knew that Phichit considered the Swiss man a good friend. They had saved each others lives more times than they could count, so it was no wonder they were close.

What all three of them had in common was that none of them were American citizens. Both Yuuri and Chris had transferred to the States three years ago – Chris from Switzerland and Yuuri from Japan. Phichit had relocated from Thailand, and him and Yuuri had clicked right off the bat. They were apart of the same team of agents, and were assigned as equals, until Yuuri was promoted to squadron leader. They both made it clear that they were happy to have her in charge. Phichit preferred to stay at home base as he was originally hired as a hacker, and being leader would mean a lot more missions. Chris insisted that he was not leader material.

“Do you at least remember what got you drinking? You’ve never drank on the job before.” Chris said.

"All I remember is a cute boy holding a drink, and after that my memory is blank." Yuuri admitted. 

"I thought you were gay." Chris joked. _Hilarious_.

"By cute boy I mean he looked fifteen. My rejection to your dinner offer still stands." She assured. Phichit whistled.

“Yikes, I don’t know how I’m going to recover from that blow.” Chris said with his hand to his chest.

“You could start by getting us coffee. I take mine with two cream, extra foam.” Phichit grinned. He always knew what to say.

-

It was a whole week before Yuuri was assigned another mission. She did all that was in her power beforehand to stray away from the donut box in the break room while she nervously waited on the news of her next assignment. She gained weight faster than anyone she knew, which was a big problem since being an agent meant she always needed to be in top shape.

“This is a big one Katsuki. Don’t mess it up.” Celestino warned. Yuuri clenched her fists. She was the most accomplished agent in the state. He didn't need to remind her. 

Their most recent alibi had provided them with the most information yet. The shadow leader of a mysterious organization with no name or known purpose is confirmed to be planning to abduct a state representative during the house party he had planned that night. Celestino had chosen to keep this information within the agency, so that their actions wouldn't throw off the enemy.

What’s more, there was evidence that a member of the FBI was leaking information to this nameless group. Their only lead was the traitor being male, and because Yuuri was the only women in the top ranks she had been assigned to complete this mission on her own. Her objective: identify the person behind kidnapping multiple members of the American government, and the organization that they reside from.

 

“Are you sure you’ll be alright going alone?” Phichit asked. 

“Not like I haven’t gone solo before. Besides, I’ve got to redeem myself.” She said, giving the man a hug before getting in her car.

-

The party was nothing special. The only surprise was how big the man’s house was. Wasn’t this guy a government representative? Yuuri had no idea government officials were this loaded. As usual she tried to avoid idle chit chat. It would alarm the guests if they discovered she was an agent. When she spotted the owner of the house, she thought it best she observed him from afar. She leaned against a wall, holding a glass of water to her lips.

The man’s wife was no where in sight, and a tall, gorgeous woman with silver hair that gleamed under the fluorescent light clung to his arm in her place. She whispered something in the man's ear that made him light up like a light bulb, and within minutes they were walking arm and arm up the winding staircase. Yuuri did her best to follow, waiting until they made it off the stairs before climbing them herself. It wasn’t like she wanted to snoop, but she was ordered to ensure the representative's safety.

She kept low, peering over the edge of the staircase at the pair. The man’s kissed down the beautiful women’s neck before she pushed him playfully through the door of what appeared to be the master bedroom. On further inspection, she noticed the women looked much too young for the man. Said women shut the door behind her, not bothering to turn the bedroom lights on. Yuuri decided that she should wait beside the door in case the criminals that were expected to show up tonight found their way upstairs. She didn’t want to impose by walking in on the two, but when she hurt a low cry of pain coming from the man inside, she didn’t have a choice.

What Yuuri walked in on was not frisky sex, but the women jabbing the man’s neck with an injection that had him falling limp in her arms.

“That was way too easy. Disappointing really,” The women sighed. She adjusted the man in her arms so she was holding him up by the head in her lap, caressing the side of his face spitefully. Yuuri could tell the man’s neck was going to hurt when he woke up. “I thought this was going to be harder since the man’s married, but he was so enthusiastic when he told me his wife was out of town.” She smiled bitterly. “Well, no matter.” the women let the unconscious man fall to the carpeted floor as if he was old news.

Yuuri remembered the gun tucked snugly in her heeled boot, but chose not to give herself away before confirming the women’s identity.

“What’s your relationship with this man?” Yuuri asked carefully. While it was obvious by now the women was a criminal, she needed to confirm that she was working for the organization. The women turned to look up at her, eyes a dazzling blue, her shapely legs dangling over the edge of the king sized bed.

“ _Yuu_ ri. I’ve been expecting you.” She smiled, getting to her feet. The women took a step forward, and Yuuri instinctively took a step back.

“H-how do you know my name?” She asked nervously. The women had the nerve to laugh, the click of her stilettos with each step tormenting her as she came closer. She lifted her hand out towards her and Yuuri flinched,

"That's a nice dress. Going by its condition, it looks like you wear it a lot." The women observed, running a hand over the length of one of the shoulder straps. The women was mesmerizing, from her voice to the shape of her lips. She leaned closer, making Yuuri’s knees shake, "Do you always wear this dress when you flirt with men undercover?" The women whispered knowingly. So she had known all along.

“That’s a part of my job that I’m not proud of.” Yuuri admitted coldly. She was avoiding direct eye contact, which seemed to amuse the women to no end. She squealed when the women leaned over her shoulder to get a better look at her behind.

"Hm, I suppose that ass would make the men crazy in anything you wear." She hummed. Yuuri jerked away, backed up against the door behind her.

“Are you mocking me?” Yuuri accused, self consciously pulling down the ends of her dress.

"I'm flirting with you." The women corrected bluntly.

Yuuri realized their conversation wasn’t going anywhere in regards to her objective, but was detrimental to her heart. It was a good thing she wasn't shallow enough to warm up to a criminal. If the man lying on the floor was the women’s target, this all couldn’t have been a coincidence.

“Who are you working for? Russia, the Mafia?” Yuuri blurted, pulling the gun from her boot and pointing it at the women in one smooth motion, “What is your relation to the organization responsible for kidnapping members of the American government?” For a second, the silver haired women seemed to have been caught off guard, then began to shake with laughter as if she had been caught doing something embarrassing. Yuuri had never gotten that sort of reaction from pointing a gun to someone’s head.

 “Oh  _Yuu_ ri,” The women giggled. Her eyes dark and pupils blown wide, “if I told you that I’d have to kill you.”

She didn't know how, but in a swift motion the alluring women had Yuuri’s dominant hand restricted behind her back, face pressed painfully into the door. The taller women plucked the gun from her grasp and positioned it between Yuuri’s legs. Her breathing grew rapid, panic bubbling up inside her.

“Not so nice having a gun pointed at you, is it?” The women purred, the cold metal digging into her inner thigh. Yuuri squirmed in her grasp, gasping when the gun nudged higher from the unexpected movement. Anxiety made Yuuri's heart pound, and her forehead dripped with sweat. She felt like an animal being wrangled.

"I'd been warned about you, but I guess it was silly of me to think you'd have a chance against me.” The women laughed. Yuuri cut her off when she jerked the door open with her free hand, sending them both toppling to the ground.

To her surprise, the teenage boy from last week was leaning against the wall beside them. The blond turned his attention away from his phone to look down at them,

“What the hell Vik-” The boy stopped himself before revealing the women’s name.

“Vicky?” Yuuri guessed aloud, turning to the women to gauge her reaction.  

“Definitely not.” The women scoffed, moving to sit up on the floor. The boy above them snickered. Yuuri furrowed her brows. How did the boy know this women, and why was he here? _Unless_ ,

“You’re in on the kidnapping.” Yuuri realized, eyes wide.

“How do you know about that?” The boy snapped, squatting down so they were eye level. He glimpsed down and flushed red before quickly averting his eyes. Yuuri’s dress must have slid down when she fell. Flashing teenage boys had not been her plan for tonight.

“What’s your name.” She asked the boy while pulling the fabric securely over her breasts. The gun pressed into her back made her flinch.

“As if I’d tell you.” The boy grumbled, staring at a spot on the floor.

“Yuuri.” The women said.

“What.” The two said simultaneously. Yuuri grinned at the boy.

“So your name is Yuri too. Russian?” She presumed. The other Yuri narrowed his eyes at the silver haired women behind her,

“You did that on purpose!” He yelled.

“We might as well introduce ourselves after all we've been through.” The women shrugged. She stood up, managing to exclude feminine grace even with an arm outstretched holding a gun to Yuuri's face. “Viktoriya Nikiforova. I'm the reason politicians are afraid to sleep at night, but you can call me любовь моя.” She smiled coyly. The boy groaned,

“You know now that you’ve seen our faces we’ll have to take you with us.” He told her. Yuuri visibly tensed. With the enemy armed, she doubted escape was an option. It’s a good thing she was prepared for this turn of events.

“I set up the ladder. If you get the man through the window, I’ll take care of the girl.” Yuri said to Viktoriya lowly.

“Awe, do you have a crush on an agent Yuri? You’re a tad young for her.”

“Shut up you hag! I just don’t wanna have to deal with you groping her.” He sputtered.

Yuuri cut off their conversation when she kicked the door shut. Viktoriya moved to reopen it, and her expression blanked when the door didn't budge.

“It’s locked.” She frowned.

“The doors of this house all lock from the outside.” Yuuri explained.

“But you were able to open the door earlier, so you must have a key.” The women pressed.

“Already slid it under the door frame.” She shrugged.  

“…And the window’s still shut.” The other Yuri said.

Yuuri had done her research. With all the doors and windows of the man’s house shut and secured with bump proof locks, their only ticket out was through one of two entrances. They wouldn't dare unhinge a door or smash a window with all the guest’s downstairs. These criminals were going to have enough trouble taking her with them, let alone their target in the locked room beside them. 

The two stared at her in disbelief.

“You’re full of surprises, special agent.” Viktoriya commended, pointer finger ghosting over her own lips.“You seem to have everything planned out, but have you considered we’re not regular criminals?”

She took out a box of matches, lighting one and dangling it over the railing. She wouldn’t. _Would she?_  

Viktoriya dropped it to the floor below them, setting the couch in flames. The last thing Yuuri heard were screams before everything went black.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> What kind of person would own a house with doors that all lock from the outside? A man with something to hide. Dun dun dun.
> 
> Positive comments are my energy source, and also greatly appreciated.


End file.
